Still here, still here.
I haven't been great expressing what I think these days. To be honest, it might be one of the reasons why I have been feeling average. I just keep realizing that I have to hold on to the few that I can connect with. It's not that I haven't been trying to - it's just that there's only a few that are made just right for me . As much as everyone is trying to catch up - or just catch *something - I have to keep making sure that I try to hold on. Because in the end, those few connections, those rare connections, are the only ones who can look me in the eye, and know where I came from. They are the only ones who can find me.
A lot of things happened that broke me in half - glued back together - broke again in a million pieces - then been instantly put back together. Some are the petty things like school, self, future. Ha. And then there were/are bigger things that I need(ed) to face - but was too proud to share to anyone. And I mean, anyone. Grand things occurred around the event of my trip (and I mean, earth shattering mind blowing eat your heart out grand). Those things you know a lot can relate, but you keep it to yourself because you just don't want to bother. And you know they'll end up saying, "Believe me. I understand what you're going through" and you know they do, but you just can't get yourself to spill. I mean, we grow up (I'm twenty??) and there are big things we just can't rely on friends or family anymore. Ironically, I say this but I really don't mind hearing an issue from a friend. But if that friend feels the same way I do, then we all become helpless.
Don't mind me and my thoughts: I'm a grown up and I'm still seeing how it is.
Anyway. Whatever it is, we deal.
Smiles, for you.
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